As far as real time strategy games go, Crusader Kings 3, released in 2020 by Paradox and Lab 42, is one of the best games to play if you’re after interesting and unique stories to tell your gamer friends about. From building alliances and bolstering your dynasties, some of the best stories have been unfolding across the screens of many a RTS fan out there. There’s one system however, that has been baffling gamers diving into the game for years now and that is the seduction system.
According to new stats shared by Paradox, many players have failed the seduction attempt since the game’s launch – and by many we mean 5 million seductions have been conducted and failed. Insane number, if you ask us – but perfectly fitting for a strategy title where personal drama is as important and arguably infinitely more entertaining than the warfare you might get up to in Crusader Kings 3.
Paradox and Lab 42 keep celebrating the success of the title in a genre that has been a couple of rough years, we’re not going to lie. This hilarious look into the statistics of the game has amused many gamers and giving others a look behind the curtain of the absurdly chaotic and evenly distributed, collective choices they made in the game.
Five Million Very Awkward Pickup Lines Unraveled
This number isn’t just a funny stat to smirk about, it really is a reflection of how elementary interpersonal relationships are to Crusader Kings 3, integral even. RTS players diving into this massive title aren’t just managing their sword and polearm wearing armies, they manage their medieval people, relationships – including same sex marriage during a previous update – and yes, their egos. Egos that have been hurt 5 million times on failed seduction attempts, mind you.
In this regard CK3 is unique, since many RTS games boil diplomacy down to simple numbers, whereas this Paradox title is turning every interaction into a memorable story to tell. Potentially, that is – if you’re brave enough to admit such a defeat, especially since it didn’t happen on the battlefield per se.
If You Want To Kidnap Popes – Play Crusader Kings 3, Trust Us
Admittedly Paradox didn’t quite give us the exact numbers of how many popes have been thrown into the dungeons unceremoniously, at least not in the way they gave us the stats on failed seduction attempts. But knowing the CK3 community, not dissimilar to letting your sim drown in the pool in the Sims series, we are perfectly confident in claiming: It’s probably a lot. The long-lasting tradition of let’s call it “pontiff-grabbing” is exactly that, a tradition that every Crusader Kings 3 player has done and we’ll call your bluff if you say you didn’t.
Having a pope in your basement is a rite of passage at this point, but there are other shenanigans you can get up to in this medieval RTS sim. An uncle falling off the balcony, due to no fault of yours? That happens. Your dynasty crumbles, because your chosen heir has more bed companions than common sense? Rookie mistake. But this is what makes this real time strategy title so glorious, there’s more to the game experience than smashing armies with sword and shield in hand.
Let’s be honest, for a game so reliant on its game systems and numerous spreadsheets, there’s a lot of personality and humor to be found underneath. We can’t help but feel that more games would benefit from such a tongue-in-cheek take on medieval life, especially considering how grim and dark most games depict this fascinating time in human history.
