An argument in favour of throwing Sims to The Pit Beast

There's a simple pleasure in chucking your annoying Sims into a hole in the ground.
The Sims: Medieval, depicting a Sim feeding a blue pit beast.

When I think about guilty pleasures, I’m often reminded of Danny Pudi’s interview with Larry David for the Ducktales reboot. Across the table, David posed a simple question: “What is a luxury you can’t live without?” Pudi’s response of socks and coffee was relatable, but it didn’t quite fly with David, who suggested something much higher end – a private plane – leading us to Pudi’s now infamous rebuttal:

“Larry, I’m on Ducktales.”

Now, I’m not on Ducktales, nor have I ever flown anything above Premium Economy. But what this story reminds me is that luxury is subjective, scaling dependent on lifestyle, interests and even sock preference. It’s whatever gives you that undeniable boost of dopamine, that rush of joy and enthusiasm. I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I’ve landed firmly on my answer. A luxury I can’t live without?

Chucking wayward Sims into the Pit of Judgement in The Sims Medieval.

Released in 2011, The Sims Medieval is a quest-driven life simulation game that allows you to create Hero Sims in assorted professions – blacksmiths, monarchs, wizards, physicians and more – and play through questlines that align with their responsibilities.

Image: Electronic Arts

As you work to build your kingdom and explore the territory, your Sims will likely stumble upon the ominously named Judgement Zone – a small grassy field that is home to an array of stocks, Jude the Executioner, and most notably, The Pit Beast.

In a hole in the ground, there lived… Griselda

Revealed in The Sims Medieval: Pirate and Nobles expansion, The Pit Beast even has a name. As part of a quest called “The Beast Must Diet” – which features an ill-fated attempt to give her salad instead of her usual meals of venison, boars and ne’er-do-wells – we say a warm, beastly hello to Griselda.

It seems almost cruel not to indulge her with a Sim or two when the urge strikes. Because Griselda is a Pit Beast whose hunger is never satisfied. A Pit Beast whose ominous hole leads deep underground, adorned only with a rickety plank that dares the bravest of Sims to prove their mettle by jumping in for a perilous mid-air battle.

As someone who has played thousands of hours of The Sims over the last twenty years, I find myself routinely coming back to The Sims Medieval whenever I’m feeling a moment of frustration or strife. Griselda the Pit Beast is my friend, and I simply cannot allow her to go unfed.

Close-up of the Pit Beast in The Sims: Medieval
Screenshot: GamesHub

NPC giving you strife? Pit!

Enemy to the kingdom shows up unannounced? Pit!

Had a bad day at work? Sorry to the very first Sim that crosses my path but: Pit!

There’s a satisfaction there you just can’t quite achieve in regular games of The Sims. Sure, The Sims 4 now features over 40 possible deaths (across expansions) including angry chickens, rabid rodent fever and that pesky Murphy bed. But there’s a simplicity to the Pit Beast that goes unmatched. It’s a Pit Beast-eat-Sim world – who am I to deny myself that luxury?

Steph Panecasio is the Managing Editor of GamesHub. An award-winning culture and games journalist with an interest in all things spooky, she knows a lot about death but not enough about keeping her plants alive. Find her on all platforms as @StephPanecasio for ramblings about Lord of the Rings and her current WIP novel.